Cop Out: or, How to Not Make Good Cop Movies

A scene that's not as funny as you'd think.


This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I'm talkin' to whoever's listenin' out there.

Ok. I enjoyed Cop Out, all right? I did. At least that’s what I keep telling myself, in the same way that women tell men that size doesn’t matter. Repeat the mantra, and keep repeating it. Okay, fine, I didn’t like it. But I didn’t hate it either. I’m kind of ambivalent to the movie. I haven’t really been a Kevin Smith fan since he made his masterpiece, Dogma. His movies have kind of gone downhill (Jersey Girl, anyone? Anyone?), though Zack & Miri Make a Porno was decent and the trailers for Cop Out seemed to at least hit some of Smith’s high notes. But then, he didn’t write this, he directed it.

There’s definitely a stamp of Kevin Smith charm in the comedic timing between Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan, and it works well. They have a lot of chemistry, though believing that they’re actually partners is a bit of a large undertaking. They just don’t come off as authentic, but that may very well be the point. This isn’t a realistic cop film in a world of The Wire, CSI, and lord knows what else. This is (supposedly) a fun, comedic attempt at nostalgic, 80s, buddy-buddy cop movies. An homage, if you will. But the filmmakers rely too much on that gimmick and not enough on making a good movie. And there really are enough ingredients to make this a good movie.

First, Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis are fine in their roles as Paul and Jimmy respectively, though I think a stronger director could have gotten better performances from both. They’re funny, and as I mentioned earlier, they have plenty of chemistry. The rest of the film is about the pair, newly suspended (of course), trying to take down a Mexican drug kingpin in Brooklyn with a penchant for baseball memorabilia. This obsession with baseball leads to his acquiring a valuable baseball card which was stolen from Jimmy, who needs to sell it in order to pay for his daughter’s wedding. It’s a simple, generic plot, but with enough moving parts that could have really launched this one to greatness, like the incredibly underrated film, The Rundown, starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

Seann Williams Scott has a great guest appearance, as the trailers indicate. Jason Lee has an awesome cameo. The villain, Po’ Boy, played by Guillermo Diaz, has the makings of a timeless badass, but more often than not comes off as a joke. The background stories for Paul and Jimmy are both interesting and the types of themes that Smith really has a nice handle on. When the film focuses on those stories, everything seems to really work, but when it focuses on the cop stuff, it kind of stumbles along as though Smith doesn’t know what to do next. It’s patchwork at times. It almost seems like Smith was too busy staring at the details and not enough at the larger picture as he was putting this together. I will say that there are nice touches, such as the uber-80s-style music that appear at points in the movie. Very nice.

So in the end, Cop Out is a mediocre film that will probably be known more for its missed opportunities than its actual content. In our recession, I'll have to say skip it, don’t even rent it. It has no replay value, though there are some genuine laughs in it. Catch it on TV if you have nothing else to do. If you have money to burn, go ahead. I don't know; as I said, I enjoyed it. But I couldn't watch this again.

Cost breakdown:

21.00 for two tickets for me and my cousin, who drove.

I wish I had some kind of time machine shaped as a hot tub to tell myself not to bother. Till next time, Pork Chop Express is signing off!