Dark of the Moon Transformed Me Into a Pipe-Pierced, Steaming Mad Movie-Goer

Bennett here, excited ‘cause El Presidente and I just decided to kidnap John Matrix’s daughter to force him to commit a political assassination.  What could go wrong?  

Caught a 3D viewing of Transformers: Dark of the Moon last night.  Now, if anyone knows me, they know of my unbridled, intense hatred for 3D films.  They’re dark, look terrible, give me headaches, and since I wear glasses, make the bridge of my nose even more irritated.  AND THE MOVIES COST SO GODDAMN MUCH.  Dark of the Moon did all of those things and more—so, so much more.  Like it made me shake my head at Bay’s apparent lack of respect for his filmgoers.  

Holy Crap. Those Damn Dirty Apes Are Comin'!

August 8, friends.  That is when the end of humanity, uh, begins.  

James Franco, there is no wrong you can do.  

Trailer after the jump.

Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol Teaser!

We here at Steamless Bennett are a little late on this one, to which we apologize.  The teaser trailer for Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol hit earlier this week and it looks like a lot of badassery will be unleashed on December 16, 2011. See the embedded trailer after the jump.

Game of Thrones: A Review Unbiased by Reading

SpecialAgentCaptainDoctor here. On break from a little freelance "subcontracting" for El Presidente.

Game of Thrones season one has come to an end. I find this a bitter sweet occurrence. Bitter because I’ll have to wait so long to find out what happens next, and sweet because maybe I’ll finally get to watch something else on television every time I go to Bennett’s house. The man’s a fanatic! He watches each episode over and over! He’s already up to his third viewing of the season finale! I’ve watched every episode but the last at least twice already. Involuntarily! It’s always on!

Graphic Novel Review: Vietnamerica

Bennett here, taking a break from not treating John Matrix's kidnapped daughter very well.

The great American novel. On the surface, it’s a simple concept, but a loaded one. Say you want to write the great American novel in any kind of company and watch the snickers and condescension rain down. In a country with such a variety of faces, with so many strikingly different groups of people, and with such disparity among classes, is there such a thing as the “Great American Novel?” Can there be? Or can you simply appeal to one group at a time?

First Official Pic of THE HOBBIT!

EW.com has the first three official pics from the upcoming Hobbit film(s).  Click on the pic below to jump over to the EW website for more!  My thoughts on the films after the jump.

The New Year Kicks Off with SEASON OF THE WITCH!

I just don't know what to say.

This is Bennett, taking a break from kidnapping John Matrix's daughter.

Caught the tense, psychological, intelligent thriller, Season of the Witch as the first film of the new decade. Okay, I lied. It's none of those things.

Nic Cage? Check.
Period piece? Check.
That dude that played Hellboy? Check.