Saturday, January 28, 2012

Hey Guys, I'm Back, From Darkman's latest, "The Grey"


Hello readers, Home Theater Hans is back after an extended absence, but let's see if my return last's longer than a Jedi named Luke Skywalker, or Mark Hamill's career.

Liam Neeson seems to find a new audience with any character he plays and The Grey is one that will find him a bigger audience. Neeson plays a character named Ottway, who is a hunter who kills wolves that would threaten oil drillers that work in Alaska. When they are finished with their job, they board a plane while there is a blizzard going on and from seeing the trailer, you see that the plane crashes and survival is the name of the game.

The trailer makes this movie to be one that only consists of surviving in the cold with a bunch of wolves trying to make dinner out of the characters. Well to a certain extent that is true, but as the movie plays out, you get to know who these survivors are. Many movies fall into the trap of having cliche characters as if there is a rule to follow, such as horror movies with the coward, the hero and the female who survives at the end. The Grey gives these characters a breath of fresh air with some insight as to what drives them to fight for the next minute of their life and gives you more of a reason to want to see them survive till the end.

The movies setting and the character's reality really gives you something to think about. One of those thoughts is not filling out those job applications that send you on a long plane ride over a wilderness that will chew out most humans unless you read Bindi Irwin's latest survival guide. You can question some of the decisions and actions that the characters make but staying alive compared to being wolf sh*t will drive anyone to the extreme, and there is a certain scene that will stay with MacGyver fans if they are ever in a similar situation.

Is there action? Yes. Could they have done a better job of the special effects/wolves? Maybe. Did I care or hear anyone in the audience complain about the wolves? No. Do I highly recommend this movie?

4 out of 5 speakers

Monday, January 2, 2012

Just 353 Days Left Till Armageddon! Time for the TEN BEST FILMS OF 2011!

Artist rendering. Not the actual armageddon.


Happy New Year!

With only 353 days till the end of the Mayan Calendar, I feel it's important that I at least try using this blog a little. 

So, considering the limited time we have left, I figure that this is the perfect time to unleash my TEN BEST FILMS OF 2011 LIST.  Yes, this incredibly soon-to-be-irrelevant-due-to-the-upcoming-end-of-times list includes films that I did not review, films that I may not remember, and films that I possibly did not see. 

Find out if your favorite films made it after the jump.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Just a Pic of Anne Hathaway in the New Catwoman Costume



Oh and, spoiler alert, she's riding the bat-pod. Look, I was the first to say that Anne Hathaway was a poor choice for the new Catwoman. I just can't picture her throwing a convincing punch. Michelle Pfeiffer. Now she can punch me anytime she wants. Still I'm hoping that pretty-pretty princess Annie has been training like crazy and will make me eat my words. Preferably in person and wearing that costume. Anyway, at this point I'm only willing to admit that the costume is looking pretty good.

Pics after the jump.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Race, Poverty, and ATTACK THE BLOCK!


Bennett here, taking a break from growing my magical Freddie Mercury mustache.

Ever watch something and you’re all, What the—this is … wow. Yeah man.
And then your buddy’s like, Oh man, this is, I don’t even know.
And then you’re like, Damn bro, yeah. That’s right. It’s crazy how right you are.

This is pretty much what it’s like watching Attack the Block, the excellent British import from the makers of such tense, dramatic films as Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and (the incredibly overrated) Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Fan Casting of THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS! (AKA the Whitest Cast EVER)


The Dark Knight Returns, which was published in 1986, has become the central text that informs and colors Batman.  It's managed to capture the imagination of millions of readers, and the desire for it to be turned into a film is as prevalent today as it was twenty years ago.  

After the jump, you'll find my own fan cast.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

EW Has Pictures from the Upcoming AMAZING SPIDER-MAN!

EW.com has a bunch of new pics from the upcoming The Amazing Spider-Man movie.

More after the jump.

At the Precipice of the End... Go Team Voldemort!


It all ends tonight.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.

Gulp.

I've got my IMAX ticket, I'm ready to stand in line.  The movie crew and I are watching The Deathly Hallows: Part 1.  I'll update later tonight with pictures from the line!

What a trip it's been.  I wish I had time right now to write a longer meditation on the past ten years of being a fan of JK Rowling's masterpiece, but I'll have to do it later.  All I can say is that as a huge Harry Potter fan, thinking about tonight is a bittersweet thing... bitter to know that after tonight there will be no more midnight movie gatherings to see Radcliffe and Co., no more midnight book releases--the last of which I attended drunk off my ass and happier than a pig in a blanket; and sweet to see the epic conclusion of such a huge part of my fanboy life.

Well, until they decide to remake the buggers.  Which will probably in like a year.

Till then, CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows Trailer

I wasn't much impressed with the first film--serviceable, but ultimately forgettable, IMO.  But I'll see the second one, regardless.

A Game of Thrones Video Game?! WHOA.

The chaps over at Gamer Tronic are reporting that a video game based on the origins of the A Song of Ice and Fire series will be released as A Game of Thrones - Genesis.


Find out more here.

More after the jump.

Leaked THE DARK KNIGHT RISES Teaser Trailer!

UPDATE X3 7-18-11 @2238 EST: Official Trailer HERE.  Finally!!

UPDATE X2 7-16-11 @2224 EST: Another link has been provided to another bootlegged version of the trailer here:



ENJOY WHILE YOU CAN!!

UPDATE: Looks like it's been taken down--sorry all!!!  I'm sure the Quicktime embed will be available tomorrow sometime. 

Wow.  Just, wow.  Have a look before it gets taken down!

Trailer after the jump.

It's HERE! IT'S HERE! it'shereit'shereit'shere! A DANCE WITH DRAGONS!


Winters have come and gone, five times. Five long years after it was due, The Book That Was Promised has hit the shelves, and all is right in the world. I’m speaking, of course, of A Dance with Dragons, the long-awaited, much-hyped fifth book in the George R. R. Martin epic series, A Song of Ice and Fire.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES Has a Poster!


From the official The Dark Knight Rises website here comes this badass teaser poster.  Also, rumors indicate that the teaser trailer will be attached to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, opening this Friday!  I don't know about y'all, but I'm getting in line now.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

BATMAN: YEAR ONE Animated Film Trailer!

No introduction needed.  It's fucking Batman.


More after the jump.

JUAN OF THE DEAD Trailer Hits!

Bennett here.  Just saw this trailer for the Cuban film, Juan of the Dead, and I've gotta say: this sucka looks funny, irreverent, and a hell of a good time.  


Seems fascinating... Clearly there's a political theme, and I wonder how it'll play out.  A lot of media attention has been paid to it so far, and I expect Shaun of the Dead-level hype by the time it releases.

Can't wait.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Dark of the Moon Transformed Me Into a Pipe-Pierced, Steaming Mad Movie-Goer


Bennett here, excited ‘cause El Presidente and I just decided to kidnap John Matrix’s daughter to force him to commit a political assassination.  What could go wrong?  

Caught a 3D viewing of Transformers: Dark of the Moon last night.  Now, if anyone knows me, they know of my unbridled, intense hatred for 3D films.  They’re dark, look terrible, give me headaches, and since I wear glasses, make the bridge of my nose even more irritated.  AND THE MOVIES COST SO GODDAMN MUCH.  Dark of the Moon did all of those things and more—so, so much more.  Like it made me shake my head at Bay’s apparent lack of respect for his filmgoers.  

Holy Crap. Those Damn Dirty Apes Are Comin'!

August 8, friends.  That is when the end of humanity, uh, begins.  

James Franco, there is no wrong you can do.  

Trailer after the jump.

Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol Teaser!

We here at Steamless Bennett are a little late on this one, to which we apologize.  The teaser trailer for Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol hit earlier this week and it looks like a lot of badassery will be unleashed on December 16, 2011. See the embedded trailer after the jump.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Game of Thrones: A Review Unbiased by Reading


SpecialAgentCaptainDoctor here. On break from a little freelance "subcontracting" for El Presidente.

Game of Thrones season one has come to an end. I find this a bitter sweet occurrence. Bitter because I’ll have to wait so long to find out what happens next, and sweet because maybe I’ll finally get to watch something else on television every time I go to Bennett’s house. The man’s a fanatic! He watches each episode over and over! He’s already up to his third viewing of the season finale! I’ve watched every episode but the last at least twice already. Involuntarily! It’s always on!